Ghost of You and Me
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: As she slipped from his apartment in the early twilight hours, she silently admitted to herself that, unless she finally let him go, she would always be sleeping with his ghost... Yes, this is kind of a call back to The Ex-Files.


**************************Ghost of You and Me**

**R****if****iuto: N****on Miriena**

**********************Summary: As she slipped from his apartment in the early twilight hours, she silently admitted to herself that, unless she finally let him go, she would always be sleeping with his ghost... Yes, this is kind of a call back to _The Ex-Files_. **

**********************A/N: Anyone remember the '90s? There was a band I was really into back then called BBMak, and this was one of their songs that I absolutely loved- and still adore. Anyway, I heard it on the radio, and looked it up on Youtube, and this is like... the perfect Jo/Zane song for them during S4. So, here you go! **

_"I can't imagine my life without you, Jojo."_

Her eyes snapped open and she glanced behind her; he snuggled closer, burying his face in her long black hair. He pulled her closer, tightening his hold on her in his sleep. The blankets tangled around them, their bodies just as tangled as the blankets of his bed, from their late night adult recreation. Her dark eyes closed, and she took a deep breath before pulling out of his embrace. Blindly, she scrambled for a shirt, picking his button down off the floor and pulling it on. She haphazardly buttoned it, before grabbing her panties and sliding them on. Climbing off the bed, she groped for her jeans and shoes, and finally finding them, she bolted for the door. _"Jo-"_

She stopped in the doorway, turning back as he called out for her in his sleep, and for a moment, her heart tugged her back. But then, she shook her head, scattering the romance building in her heart. She turned from him, pulling the door shut softly behind her before making her way down the hall. A fragment of moonlight shone through the window, guiding her back towards the bedroom.

Once upon a time, that same slice of moonlight would have guided her back to a bedroom, to a warm bed and the arms of a man she loved. A man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but now...

Now all it caused was pain. No moonlight, no stars, would ever guide her back to the man she loved, because the man she loved was dead; gone, like the timeline she'd left behind. Lost in an abyss of blackness and unraveling time. Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she set her things down and searched for her car keys. She found nothing but books, unfinished projects, the wine glasses they'd drunk from hours earlier-

And her keys. Bingo.

Snatching up her things, she grabbed her keys and turned to go, stopping when something fluttered to the floor. Her curiousity peaked, she knelt down and picked it up. Laying her things back on the table, she opened the white envelope, and gasped as the words _Swan Lake_ stared back at her in the moonlight. She choked out a sob, leaning back against the wall. Her dark eyes filled with tears, bluring the theater name, though she knew the theater by heart.

Portland Center For the Performing Arts.

He'd bought tickets to-

_"I've got... two tickets to the ballet and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."_

She took a deep breath, the tickets falling to the floor as she buried her face in her arms. Minutes passed as she struggled to get control of her tears, as she tried desperately to shake off the phantom embrace of her Zane. Eventually, she climbed to her feet and grabbed her things, making her way past the kitchen towards the door, stopping to grab her jacket off the back of the sofa.

The fact that this Zane had also picked up tickets to the ballet just reinforced the fact that she was unable to distinguish between the two. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, grabbing her gun and bag as she went, stopping at the feel of someone running their fingers through her hair. Slowly, she turned; she was alone. A moment passed before she set her things down on the sofa and made her way into the kitchen.

The room was dark, save for the time on the stove clock.

1:10.

She swallowed.

They'd returned from Portland at one-ten, and she had then spent the night. That night, as they'd first made love, had been awkward, but they'd soon found their own rhythm, and soon nights at his place were a normal occurance for the couple. Taking a deep breath, she turned to grab her things and finally make her way out of the apartment.

Her eyes had to be decieving her; yet she could have sworn he was standing before her, blocking her way. She glanced behind her quickly, before making her way back to the bedroom. Poking her head into the room, she relaxed as she heard Zane snoring softly. So it was just her imagination playing tricks with her. Her Zane wasn't here, no matter how tight she shut her eyes and wished she were back in her timeline. For her, her life would never be normal again; she would never have that love she'd had long ago.

The man she loved was dead, replaced with a cold, callous doppelganger. She had to keep reminding herself of that; that this would be the last time...

_"Jojo..."_

She stopped, the darkness surrounded her, and she turned, the silence of the apartment pressing into the dark hallway, as footsteps came towards her, vanishing as they reached her. Now that she'd come back to check on him, his voice was calling out to her from beyond the grave, taunting her, hurting her. Everywhere she turned, be it in this apartment, in her office, in her own home, or around town, little reminders followed her, screaming that she was alone, that her heart was broken, never to be repaired. No matter what she did, no matter how she tried to move on, tried to get past Zoe's crush- and later screaming, silent rage directed at her- or avoid Zane himself, little things kept inserting themselves into her path, weasling their way into her life, to remind her exactly of what she'd lost.

Raising her walls, she hurried back into the living room, grabbed her things from the sofa, and made her way to the doorway, determined to return to her house and wash away the ghost of his touch against her skin. She grabbed the doorknob, pulling the door open-

_"Jojo..."_

She stopped, and her curiousity won out; she turned, expecting to find him sleepily rubbing his eyes as he watched her go. But instead, she found herself alone in the room, clutching desperately at her things. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the door open wider-

_"Jojo..."_

And turned again, searching for her tormenter. Instead, her gaze landed on something on the floor. A brief flash of interest passed over her features, but she instead moved to leave; her curiousity got the better of her though, and she let the door shut, going to pick the thing up from the floor. An instant wave of regret washed over her.

It was a photograph, taken during a party of some kind. She knew the photograph, she'd had a copy on her desk in the sheriff's office until the shift.

Taken at SARAH, during Zoe's goodbye party. She and Zoe had been chatting about Boston and the east coast, making plans for vacations to Jersey or up to Manhattan, when they'd been ambushed. Zane had grabbed her around the waist, pulling her backwards onto the dance floor. When they'd finally tired of dancing, they'd settled on the sofa, watching the others dance and have fun. At one point, she'd gotten up to get a soda, and when she'd returned, he'd grabbed her around the waist, pulling her over the arm of the sofa and into his lap. Her legs had dangled over the arm, and she'd lounged back in his embrace.

They'd spent a lot of that time chatting and whispering, before he'd cut her off with a kiss. A quiet, tame- compared to most- makeout session followed, and he'd wrapped his other arm tight around her waist, pulling her closer. She'd reached up, cradling his cheek in her hand; both were unaware that they were the object of a certain sheriff's camera for a series of candid shots.

In this photograph, they'd finally broken the kiss, their foreheads resting together. Their eyes were open, and he held her hand in his, against his chest. Both wore a look of complete and absolute love, as though they were the only two in the room and not in the middle of a goodbye party. His other arm was wrapped around her waist, and she wore her hair down in loose curls that brushed against his cheek. It was a photograph that showed the barest of emotions- love at its most honest. They'd been so happy, so in love, ready to make their life together, and then fate had cruelly ripped them apart.

She choked on a sob, dropping the photograph. A moment passed, before she went to the kitchen and grabbed a pen. Returning to the living room, she snatched the photograph up, scribbled something on the back, and then dropped it, rushing from the apartment, shutting the door softly behind her, the photograph once again forgotten on the floor. As she rushed out into the cold morning air, rushing blindly to her car, she found herself begging to know when this pain, this torture would set her free so that she could live her life.

Locking her car, she sat in the driver's seat, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart. Tears ran down her cheeks, and she quickly brushed them away, turning back to the apartment to make sure he hadn't woken and followed her. She was alone. As she put the car into drive and checked her rearview, she jumped, crying out at the bright blue eyes staring back at her in the mirror. Her head snapped back, but the backseat was empty. Taking that as her cue, she gunned the motor and fled.

When she pulled into her driveway, she stepped out of the car before she'd even put it in park, grabbed her things, and rushed up the steps and into her house, slamming the door behind her. Leaning back against it, she dropped her things and took a deep breath, sinking to the floor. For months, she had been trying to let go of the man she'd fallen in love with, the man she was falling in love with, and just when she thought she'd finally gotten over him- both versions- her mind betrayed her. Taking deep breaths, she climbed to her feet, grabbed her clothes, and rushed upstairs.

Once her things were in the hamper, she climbed into bed, pulling the blankets around her body. She struggled to sleep, before pushing the blankets aside and climbing out of bed. Footsteps in the hall- most likely created by her tired mind- had caused her to get up; better that she check that the door was locked before returning to bed so she could get a descent night's sleep, especially since the retina scanners needed to be added- the last thing to be added to her newly remade house. As she moved through the halls of her house, after locking the front door, she stopped, the scent of coffee filling her nose. No, coffee and mint. Her heart constricted, and she blinked the tears away, before rushing the last few steps to her room and slamming the door once she was behind it.

Safely ensconced within the covers of her bed, she buried her face in the pillow, letting the tears fall. All she wanted was this night to end so she could get on with her life. Hot and sticky tears rushed past her lips as she gives in, and soon, she realized that in a heated yet debildating attempt to save the last remaining parts of her heart and soul, she'd ended up surrendering and presenting them to this Zane on a silver platter, along with the last of her pride.

_"Oh, Jojo... Please don't cry, my love."_

In a haze of fever and heartbroken delerium brought on by tears and the pain crashing over her like waves on the shore, she turned, to find herself staring into his eyes. Even in the dark of early morning twilight, they were still the brightest of any robin's egg she'd ever seen. With a small smile, he reached out, brushing the tears off her cheeks, even as she reached up to brush her fingers over the stubble on his cheek. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and then one to her cheek, brushing away the tears, before pressing one to her ear, her temple, her forehead, her hair.

_"I never meant to hurt you like this."_

She swallowed, looking up into his eyes. A moment passed, before she burst into fresh tears. "If you love me, then let me go, Zane. This isn't love... this isn't what we had. This is robbery, Zane... don't you understand? It's_ robbery_."

He pressed another kiss to her temple, brushing her hair away from her face. She turned from him, burying her face in her pillow again, as she felt his arms wrap around her. His voice was soft in her ear. As she finally began to accept that fact, he faded, though his touch, his kisses, his embrace lingered around her.

_"I love you, Josefina. So much..."_

* * *

She'd snuck off sometime in the middle of the night, he realized as he wandered into the living room, headed to work. As he pulled on his jacket and made for the door, he stopped, realizing he'd stepped on something. He picked it up, and was surprised to find that it was a photograph-

Of him and Jo.

They were sitting on a sofa; she was in his lap, legs over the arm of the sofa. Her long black hair was down in curls, and they were staring into each others' eyes; hands held against his chest. They looked like a couple in love. A moment passed, before he turned it around, searching for a date, a time, anything. Instead, he found a single sentence, that gave him even more of a reason to search for answers now, written in Jo's neat scrawl.

_I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me_


End file.
